You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of hillbillies and fried food but of conservative Christian values. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of country music, senior citizens and homosexual entertainers. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop.................Branson, MO.
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Don't tell me you haven't been to Branson, MO. Shoji Tabuchi? The Titanic Museum? Tony Orlando? Tanger Family Outlet Mall? Jim Stafford? Golden Corral? Ride the Ducks? Go-carts? Souvenir shops with an eagle flying over an American flag t-shirts that say Branson, MO? Silver Dollar City?!?! Religious themed zoos??!?! DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO BRANSON MISSOURI?!?!
Branson, MO is located just between whimsy and insanity deep in the rhinestoned valley of traditional values where cowboy hats and high wasted nylon pants reign supreme. It also happens to be thirty minutes away from my hometown Springfield and a place I frequented as a child. It is indeed like wandering into the Twilight Zone. You aren't sure what's real. You aren't sure what's farce and what's meant to be taken seriously. You aren't sure what the fuck is happening, but you are most likely having an amazing time and gaining roughly ten pounds while you're at it. All teasing and joking aside, Branson, MO is truly a magical place.
So when I found myself in the parking lot of the Doug Gabriel Theatre for the Barbara Fairchild Sunday worship service I knew I was in for another magical Branson adventure.
My dear friends Adam and Lucas live in Branson. I've known Adam since third grade when we were in theatre together. We sang in the same High School choir. We traveled to Italy together. We share a mutual love for laughter, food and Broadway musicals. He was the first person who introduced me to Waiting for Guffman and Janelle Monae. He is also the first person who ever officially came out to me as a homosexual.
I am who I am today because Adam was brave enough to be himself. I know this sounds silly and over dramatic, but it's true. Adam is an amazing person. No one makes me laugh like Adam - he fills my heart with joy. The devil can't do that. Adam wasn't evil or wrong or a freak or sick or any of the other crap I heard in my church about the gays. Adam was another one of God's amazing creations. Thus began my love affair with the gays and the opening of my eyes past what the church told me was acceptable to see. All thanks to Adam.
After Adam came out my devout Sunday morning prayers were quickly replaced by Saturday night spins on the glitter-dusted dance floor of the local gay bar. If church was going to reject of the people I loved then I would just reject church.
Now, here I am. Dancing it up on Saturday and then dragging my hungover ass to a different church (almost) every Sunday. Since Adam was a catalyst for my church rebellion it's only fitting that he joined me for a chapter of my church reunion.
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| Me and my dear friend Adam |
Adam and his amazing boyfriend Lucas suggested we attend Barbara Fairchild's worship service at a theatre in Branson. Barbara is a Grammy nominated country music singer/songwriter. Some time ago she gave her heart to Jesus and has devoted her life to Him ever since. She and her husband Roy have a ministry based in Branson that travels around the country.
Elaborate crystal chandeliers. Pastel pant suits. Fancy bathrooms. Corny jokes. A sea of silver hair. Oh yeah, I'm in Branson.
"We're here today to honor my late wife" Roy said as he and his black pinstripe suit took the stage. "She's always 15 minutes late." he concluded. Married men and women turned to each other and chuckled. We then listened to twenty minutes of jokes ranging from marital issues to old people texting. "Do you know what BTW means to a senior citizen? Bring the wheelchair!" We were the youngest people in the audience by at least thirty years.
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| That's Gigi, Lucas and Adam. My church buddies for the day. |
After that the service got...well...weird. It was weird. I felt like I stepped into the bizzaro world.
The service was a lot like I imagine The Lawrence Welk show would have been. The congregation is more of an audience - never participating, just quietly watching and applauding when appropriate. Roy and Barbara tell jokes, poke fun at each other, share their personal stories, sing solos and duets and have special guests onto stage to talk or sing.
There were three guest stars at this week's service show.
1. Bo Rivers - who got his name from a cereal box and lives in a small town in Texas across from the flea market. Those were his words. Bo was the most precious thing I've ever seen in his jeans and suspenders and cowboy hat. He had a Texas flag on his guitar and sang the sweetest song called "Me and God". He was a delight. I wanted to put him in my pocket.
3. The final guest was a lady with a sad story to tell, but due to nerves and sadness and a stroke it was difficult to understand what she was talking about. Her story was long and disjointed. I won't say anything more about it.
Barbara is a very sweet woman who gives all of herself to her ministry. She does a lot of good in the community - helping women get back on their feet after the various life events that can knock one down. This particular service there wasn't a sermon. Barbara did talk a lot about her relationship with God - at one point breaking down in tears saying "Isn't amazing? The presence of the Lord." Barbara mentioned her struggle to "love as the Lord loves" and said she was praying that he would open her heart to that kind of love. I interpreted this "love" as "unconditional love".
Lucas told me about a night where Barbara and her husband Roy tried to "pray the gay out of him". Banishing his unclean thoughts with prayers and pleas to God. My jaw dropped when I heard this. "And you were okay coming back to church today?!?" I asked Lucas. He calmly replied "Yup. It's no big deal. I didn't really care. I think I had a date after or something. We're all friends now. They're good people." Lucas is amazing and very confident in who he is. Clearly, he's got a head start on the concept of "loving like God loves".
After the service we ate an delicious lunch at The Olive Garden.
Sidebar: My Nana, who took me to Branson at least once a month and loved Jesus more than anyone I've ever met was a frequenter of The Olive Garden. It was one of her favorite places to go. Eating that delicious unlimited salad made me feel close to her though she's been gone almost nine years.
Adam and I sat at the table talking about movies and past memories and eating and laughing and laughing and laughing. My jar hurt by the end of lunch. It was such a treat to share a leg of my journey with these wonderful people. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.
I'm sorry this post was so late. It was my birthday on Monday. I'm now 31. And so far I'm loving every minute of it. At lunch Gigi asked me if this journey had brought me closer to God . She was filled with questions. I paused and thought about my answer before replying, "I've become closer to myself - which in many ways is like deepening your connection to God, because I believe God is not separate from us, but part of us."
Going to church didn't magically make me a Hindu or Buddhist or a Christian. I can't say any of my religious beliefs have altered dramatically - though some have evolved. Mostly, I just feel more comfortable in my own skin and more connected to the world around me. It's been amazing and I feel truly grateful to have had the opportunity to embark on such a journey. Though that doesn't mean I might not skip a couple more church services before it's all said and done.
I'm off to eat my weight in Halloween candy! Enjoy!
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