The Magic of Christmas

When you're down and you're alone it's the train that brings you home
And your mother, brother, sister, father, waitin' at the door
It's so sweet, sweet

Makes me glad I'm only a stone's throw away
Makes me sad that others can't have it the same way
Oh, home
Home. 

Lyrics from "Home" by Dan Croll



After I left the church there was one night I not only consented to attend service with my family but I actually insisted on it - Christmas Eve Worship Service. 


I love Christmas. Love it. It's the most magical time of the year. Pretty twinkling lights. Sugar cookies covered in colorful sprinkles. Family gatherings. Presents beautifully wrapped waiting under the tree. Christmas carol sing-a-longs. Love Actually. Snuggling with loved ones by the fire drinking hot cocoa and reminiscing about the magic of Christmases past. Oh yes, Christmas is pure magic. 

When I left the church I had no trouble giving up Easter or Palm Sunday. Though I desperately missed the annual Ice Cream Social and Church Wide Picnic, I recognized that those celebrations had to be left behind. BUT there was no way I was giving up Christmas even though I no longer considered myself a Christian. 

Over the years I've struggled to explain why I didn't walk away from Christmas. I don't believe in Jesus as my personal savior, though I think he was a wonderful man who imparted fantastic wisdom we can all certainly benefit from. I don't believe Jesus was born on December 25th. I don't believe all the details around the story of Jesus' birth nor do I find the story particularly moving. 

So, why do I celebrate Christmas? 

Because there's presents? Because I have the week off of work? Because I desperately love when they turn off all the lights, light the candles and hundreds of voices sing Silent Night in beautiful harmony? Because of all the yummy food? Because it's fun? Because I get to buy a pretty new dress? 

Pretty much

But not exactly. 


I celebrate Christmas because I see how much joy Christmas activities bring. Have you ever sung carols at a Nursing Home and seen the faces of little old ladies playing bridge light up? Have you ever made gingerbread houses with a child and witnessed the glee icing covered fingers and peppermint covered houses can bring? Have you experienced the joy of giving someone something they really wanted or desperately needed? 

In my hometown of Springfield, MO there are signs everywhere that read "Jesus - The Reason for the Season" or "Happy Birthday Jesus" to remind you that Christmas isn't really about spreading cheer and spending time with loved ones. For you see heathens, Christmas is supposed to be about praising Jesus. 

I respectfully disagree. 



On the way to Christmas Eve service we were running a bit late. I causally joked that we could attend the 6:00 service at another church instead of the 5:30 service we were scurrying to make it to saying - Meh. If we miss the 5:30 show we'll just catch the 6:00 one. My father was unamused by this comment and quickly corrected me saying it wasn't a "show", it a serious event. It was only a joke and I didn't mean much by the use of the word "show", except I kinda did. I love attending Christmas Eve services, but I don't take them very seriously. 

My family and I attend Christmas Eve services every year. We dress in our finest - fancy new dresses, fur coats, patent leather heels, bow ties, velvet jackets, etc. Every year we are the best dressed people in the place. Hands down. We attend a new church almost every year desperately seeking out "the perfect Christmas Eve service". This year we attended Christ Episcopal Church in downtown Springfield, MO. Though it was a fine service in a lovely setting, our search for the perfect Christmas Eve service continues. 
 

As I sat through the service at Christ Episcopal I reflected on my Dad's comment. The woman next to me was hellbent on offering her voice up to Jesus as a birthday gift singing loudly and out of tune. It's the thought that counts, right? I listened to the preacher person (I can't remember what they are called in the Episcopal church, but don't tell me because I don't care) speak about Jesus being the greatest Christmas gift, because Jesus had the power to bring people out of the darkness. We sang hymns and communion was offered though my family declined. I'm not really down with the whole everyone drinking out of one cup thing. Perhaps one of the worst Christmas gifts is the gift of influenza. 

Sitting on the hard wooden pew I tried to take the service seriously, but I wasn't sure what that meant. I was being quiet and respectful. I sang the songs. I paid attention. Still, I felt no connection to God in the moment. I couldn't help it. I felt bored and my ass was going numb. 

Then I looked at my brother sitting next to my Dad and it hit me. 

Not everyone finds God at church or in the birth story of Jesus, though those are perfectly respectable places to find God. 

But that's not where I find God. At least, not that night. 


I found my connection to God in being surrounded by my family. Attending Christmas Eve services together has been a family tradition since I was a child. Though I don't take the service very seriously, I most certainly take the ritual of attending service seriously. Sitting in the car on the way home with my beautifully dressed family I felt love and peace - the presence of God. 

After church we gather around the fancy dining room table, not the everyday kitchen nook one, and share a delicious meal of Italian shells along with wine and laughter and good conversation. It's formal but comfortable. It's simple but meaningful. Then we open presents, sharing the gifts we carefully selected for each other with joy. 

Christmas isn't limited to celebrating the birth of Jesus, though I do recognize his part in the day. I think if we focus solely on Jesus we'd be missing a lot. Christmas is about love. That was God's greatest gift.

Love. Love. Love. 

Now, that's something to take seriously. 



As I was sitting with my family opening presents and eating yet another Christmas cookie I felt lucky. My family isn't perfect. We've had a few screaming arguments in our day with slamming doors, harsh words and salty tears. But such moments are few and far between and are always always always followed with apologies and hugs and "I love you".

My loving parents

I first knew about God's unconditional love because my family modeled it for me.

My loving (and gorgeous) brother

It makes me sad that others can't have it the same way.


Perhaps that's why God isn't just present at church or in the warmth of your family, because some people can't find God there. This is why God has to be everywhere - to be accessible to everyone.


I know some may think it's too early for wine at 8:00 am (CST). Jesus drank wine for breakfast, but whatever. Pull out some crackers then cause here comes some cheese...


Seek God and you'll find God.

Or if you aren't big on the whole "God" thing...

Seek love and you'll find love.

Same thing.



May your eyes be opened to the love that surrounds you. Merry late Christmas.