Hanging with the Episcopalians

 

 

 

7:57 am - Wake up.

 

8:01 - Make cat video

 

 

 

 

 

8:10 - Walk into kitchen. Eat the only food in the house - a banana and the scraps off the rotisserie chicken I'd been eating all weekend

 

Sometimes my life ain't so pretty

 

8:13 - Put the kettle on

 

 

 

8:15 - Walk down to the basement to get stuff for an art project

 

My entire apartment is basically a craft room.

 

8:22 - Put on pants

 

 

8:39 - Sit outside and have a cup of tea. Deliciously dark blackcurrant tea to be exact

.

 

8:46 - Research the church I'm going to today. Dig their attitude.

 

 

 

9:01 - Catch a few minutes of CBS Sunday Morning. All the segments are reruns I've already seen. I watch anyway and snuggle the cat.

 

9:10 - Think about getting dressed.

 

9:20 - Continue thinking about getting dressed.

 

9:30 - Brush teeth and wash face.

I love to brush my teeth!

 

9:40 - Throw on colorful clothes and red lip gloss. Ponder if red lip gloss is appropriate for church and then laugh remembering how I don't care about such things.

 

9:43 - Being impressed with my ability to look kinda cute with 10 minutes of prep and no shower I take roughly 10 selfies at various angles and in different lighting.  

 

9:46 - Head out to St. Mark's Episcopalian Church in St. Louis, MO

9:47 - An acoustic version of John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland" comes on the radio as I turn on the car. I scream and scramble to play the CD David made me. John Mayer's god awful lyrics stop immediately and I roll down the windows, jam out to respectable music and drive on.

9:58 - I arrive at church. 2 minutes before the service begins. I have time to snap one pic.

 

 

From time to time people I know will meet someone they think I would enjoy. Oh, Sarah, you'll just love her. She's just like you. She's so funny. I can't wait for you two to meet! Then I meet this person and cannot stand her. She isn't funny. She's obnoxious and kinda stupid. It's painful to be in the same room with her. I don't like her. AT ALL. Then I'm left questioning my relationship with this person who thought I would like someone so horrible and deal with the new realization that this person either doesn't know me at all or believes me to be an obnoxious asshole. OR the even more painful realization that I am indeed an obnoxious asshole and cannot stand myself. Either way it ain't fun. So, when people start to say, Sarah, I know you will love... I stop them quickly. Because, no, no I won't.

 

As people started offering more and more recommendations for churches I found myself reflecting on the countless people I was supposed to love and didn't. Was church going to be the same deal? I didn't want to find out. So, any time anyone suggested a church to me I ignored it. I'd say, Sure, I'd love to check that out. Hopefully I'll have enough time. There are so many churches! And then pretend the whole ordeal never happened. But one suggestion kept coming back up...visiting an Episcopalian church.

 

So I decided to give it a go.

 

The second I stepped through the burnt red door I was greeted warmly by a lady whose name I don't remember. I never realized how important a greeting was until I started attending church again. Greetings really set the tone for the experience. If I am not greeted within the first 5 minutes I often write off the church as snobbish or unwelcoming or cold. You can blame my Midwestern heritage for that one. Where I come from you greet pretty much anyone who walks or drives by you with at least a hello, a smile or a wave. It's the polite thing to do. How hard is it to say hello? Not that hard people. Not that hard. Luckily, St. Mark's was full of "hellos".

 

I grabbed a bulletin and found an aisle seat in the middle of the sanctuary. I read through the 12 page booklet and grew nervous about the length of the service. Uh oh. This might be long. I should have brought a snack. Oh God. They do communion. And there's SO much unison speaking crap. But look, the hymnal is dated 1982. That's my birth year! Woo! Then I took a picture of the hymnal. Because....well....I don't really know. I was bored I guess. And I'm really proud of my birth year? I'm Ron Burgundy?

 

 

 

10:07 - Service begins. Holy Eucharist it's called.

 

Episcopalian services (at least at this church) are a bizarre combination of formal Catholic traditions mixed with the feel you get from going to Target. It's just a random mix of people (One lady came in wearing running shorts and a fanny pack. She was adorable.) all in a pretty good mood doing some formal rituals but in the same laid back style one might peruse the aisles at their favorite local Target. It was reverent and serious but at the same time relaxed and easy.

 

We started with singing. People actually sang. In key, mostly. A rarity. We sang this one song called "Earth and all Stars" where the refrain was "God has done maaaaarrrrrrrrrvelous things" and the tune was just glorious. I loved that part. There was a lot of saying things in unison, which I still don't like but have gotten used to. At one point we read 2 whole Psalms in unison. That felt excessive. It was hard to stay together. It was hard to do group pauses. We had to turn a page at one point. It was too much. Group readings should be short. There was a lot of standing and then not knowing when it was okay to sit again. Some people were standing. Some people were sitting. I didn't know what to do! So, I just followed my heart. It seemed to go over well.  

 

 

 

 

Blah blah blah...standard church stuff. Let's get to the meat and potatoes of the experience, shall we?

 

Let's skip to The Homily - or what the rest of us call The Sermon. Damn Episcopalians having to rename everything. Sheesh. Rev Mark Kozielec casually stepped up on the podium (which I'm sure has a fancy Episcopalian name) and delivered an incredibly thought provoking lesson. His talk was about....burnout and the importance of picking yourself up and carrying on even when you think you've had enough.

 

The Rev read about Elijah from 1 Kings. Elijah fled to the wilderness and prayed that he would die. But angels came and fed him saying he would need his strength or he'd never be able to finish the journey. Then God came to him and Elijah complained about how hard things had been. God did all this crazy stuff - earthquakes and wind - yet Elijah could not be moved. Finally, in the silence Elijah was able to listen to God who told him to return and continue his journey.

 

At least this is how the Rev explained the story from the Bible, but I imagine there are other interpretations. Episcopalians do not support a literal interpretation of the Bible. Episcopalians actually have a separate scripture book - The Book of Common Prayer - which is made up of Bible passages as well as other writings.

 

The Rev explained how we, like Elijah, often suffer from journey exhaustion and lack the strength to carry on so we pray for death. But God has other plans and instead sends nourishment and encouragement. It's fine to rest up for a while, even hide out when the world exhausts you, but then, at some point, you will have to pick yourself up and carry on. Because it's not about you, it's about God. And God has big plans for you.

 

Yup. I was totally supposed to come here today, because this message is for me. Sarah, you are burnt out. On everything. You've been hiding out. You've stopped caring. You lack motivation and drive. You have got to take a shower! It's time. Emerge from the cave, Sarah. Bathe first then emerge from the cave!

 

The Rev got me thinking....about why I started this church journey. I thought about the warehouse...which has been on my mind a lot lately. That experience haunts me. I thought about my grouchy attitude toward church. I thought about how little time left I have on this journey. I'm half way done. I will never have these experiences again. This is my moment - and that really applies to all things. It is my job to take all I can from this experience. No more complaining.

 

I love a good sermon (or homily). They renew your spirit. They inspire you. You feel like you can achieve anything you set your mind to. All of the sudden you are going to wake up at 5am and jog every day and only eat organic produce and volunteer at a youth shelter and march on Washington until gay marriage is federally recognized and rescue abused puppies. You are going to do ALL THE GOOD THINGS. There's no way you are actually going to achieve all those things, but it's nice to feel like you can. I set my sights small - doing my best to get the most out of these next 6 months and showering at least 3 times a week. Can do!

 

After the homily something strange happened. We greeted our neighbors. We are now 40 minutes into the service and we are just now saying hello. Odd. Even more strange, people didn't actually say "hello" they said "peace". I turned to my neighbors and shook their hands and said "good morning" and accepted their response of "peace" with a gentle smile. Some members of the congregation felt a need to say "peace" to every single person - touching them on the arm, looking into their eyes and saying "peace". This took quite some time. There was a lot of noise and movement. It was weird, but also kind of nice. In my new spirit of "getting the most out of everything" I decided to give "peace" a chance and wished peace to every person in my section (I wasn't going to walk up and down the aisles like the regulars. That's too much.)

 

COMMUNION TIME!

 

Communion always makes me nervous. I don't know why. Is it because I don't believe in Jesus as my savior? Is it the fear of doing something wrong? Is it because we are talking about eating a man's body and drinking his blood? Is it because everyone was drinking directly from the same cup? I don't know. But when the blessings were said and it came time to join the line of people who were kneeling at the altar and receiving their bread and REAL wine I panicked. In the bulletin it read "All who hunger and thirst for God are welcome to receive the Holy Communion at this altar" so I knew I was welcome. The lady across the aisle looked at me like "you doing this honey?". Sarah, this might be your only chance to take communion kneeling at an altar. Get your butt up there and do it. So, I did. I knelt. I got my bread and instead of drinking straight from the cup I dipped my bread in the wine. I followed my heart. I was proud.

 

 

11:17 - Service ends. On my walk out I took time to snap one more picture.

 

 

 

Okay. Fine. You were right. I loved the service. It was a great experience. All those who suggested I would enjoy an Episcopalian service were spot on. You know me well. Thank you. St. Mark's had a great energy. It's an inclusive church (aka gays are welcome) that doesn't talk excessively about how inclusive it is. The focus is where it should be - on God and God's people. St. Mark's had a warm and welcoming atmosphere and an open minded approach to God and religion. They also have a garden where the children grow vegetables and plant flowers - adorable.

 

Driving away from the church I suddenly realized how very very hungry I was. Knowing I didn't have any food at my house I drove over to my friend Rebecca's house who was out of town for the weekend and I was supposed to be feeding her cats. I fed the cats and then I fed myself. Her food selections were limited, but in the spirit of making the most of things I enjoyed a delicious meal of steamed broccoli, a banana, a handful of french fried onions and a piece of bittersweet baking chocolate. Yum!

 

Then I spent the rest of day finishing up my new therapy office and making the most of my $50 budget.

 

The office before...

 

 

The office after...

 

 

 

 

 

Woo! Making the most of things for the win! Now, get out there and make the most of your day! Or...hang out in your cave, but only a bit longer. There's work to be done. 

 

 

(Goo. I sound like a douche.)

(I couldn't stop the blog from formatting everything in the middle of the page.)

(I don't want to stop writing.)

(I'll miss you.)

(Till next time...)

(Which I'm totally excited about.)

(Moo.)