Snow Day!

I was standing outside the St. Louis Erotic Art Show, Naughti Gras, discussing the pros and cons of hallucinogenic mushrooms with a horned man when it started to snow. And then it kept on snowing and snowing and snowing...until the ground was covered with the fluffy white death powder.


I do not care for snow.

But on this particular evening, I found myself thoroughly loving the snow. You know why? Because I was with my friends. Friendship, at least the type of friendship I am blessed to have in my life, can make even the most unpleasant of experiences somehow magical. After the art show we played in the snow like giant children - throwing snowballs, making snow angels and swinging on a swingset. We just laughed and laughed and laughed. It was awesome. It was so cold, but it was awesome.



As the snow continued to fall, I realized church was most likely not going to be an option in the morning - especially since the Swedenborgianism church I had picked was a 30 minute drive away. See, I don't drive in snow, see. It scares me, see. I freak out and scream and drive 12 miles per hour, see. I just don't drive in snow. So in the morning, I didn't go to church.

But I'd like to tell you about what I did instead...

I woke early bursting with energy and song and ready to share my excitement for the day with my two sleeping friends who were significantly less song-filled than I was. There was name calling and death threats, but I didn't mind. It's 8 am! We've been sleeping for almost 5 hours! Time to get up! Let's play! I love you! Let's snuggle! Look at the snow! Get up! Get up! Get up! I come from a long line of morning people and I'm extraordinarily silly. The combination is dangerous. Dangerously awesome.

After a delicious breakfast of fistfuls of banana bread and cold coffee we headed out to explore the snow. My dear friend Rebecca had to head home to her husband and children (she slept over due to the random snow attack) which left me and one of my closest friends, Hannah, to our own devices. I had planned on getting early morning wine drunk (don't judge me, what do you think Jesus drank for breakfast?) and watching a televised church service. BUT, due to the Superbowl, church on TV was cancelled. Ha! Fate was clearly sending me a message - today is not for church. Today is a SNOW DAY!

Dressed in 2 pairs of yoga pants, 2 shirts, my Annie at the Landers sweatshirt from 3rd grade that still fits (depressing and yet somehow amazing), wool socks, rainbow rainboots, my raincoat, 2 pairs of gloves, my scarf and my purple hat I headed out into the snow with my dear friend. We made a feeble attempt at building a snow man, but the snow wasn't cooperating. This is a defining moment - the moment your plans don't work out and you must choose what to do next. This is where my love for Hannah explodes, because when I suggested we paint the snow with food coloring she didn't even blink. She looked deep into my eyes with an expression that simply said "Fuck yes" and helped me
gather supplies.

Hannah added a sailboat to her sunset over the ocean
masterpiece.

Hannah helped me create a tree to replace the
one they tore down last week.

 




Hannah and I became friends when we were 17. So it's fairly impressive that we still speak to each other because everyone knows at 17 you are basically an intolerable selfish asshole. Somehow we survived. Our friendship is rooted in one main concept - unconditional love. I've bitten Hannah so hard I drew blood. She's kept me up all night playing naked bbgun shooting outside my bedroom window. We've had screaming fights followed by months of silence. We've dealt with police officers, enraged ex lovers, the promises and perils of binge drinking and bad decision after bad decision. We've seen each other for the low life scum we can occasionally be and responded with one simple message, "I love you friend. Always".

This is a powerful experience. Letting someone see you, really really see you, and knowing they still love you, really really love you.

It's more than that though. We've survived the bad stuff, but we also delight in each other. We are crazy cat ladies and proud to be. We talk openly about poop and sex and religion and politics and everything in between. There's nothing we can't say to each other - and believe me we have really tested that one. We explore. We play. We dance. We sing songs - like washing dishes and singing R.Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly".  We laugh. Constantly. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we just enjoy each other. Our friendship is freeing. We accept each other fully, with no conditions and no expectations but to love and be loved.

Out there in the snow, in nature, the sun shining down on us, the birds singing sweetly, being silly and creating something beautiful with my friend who loves me unconditionally I felt close to God. Which makes complete sense to me, but might not to you. I felt like God provided that moment much as God provided me a kindred spirit like Hannah. But I also felt close to God because I was frolicking through a small piece of this incredible planet and I feel connected to God in nature. I believe God is all around us - in the trees, in the birds, in the people we meet and even in the snow. But perhaps the greatest reason I felt connected to God in that moment was because I felt so much love. I felt it from the sunshine. I felt it from my friend. I felt it from myself. And to me, God is love.



The love I felt in that moment carried on throughout the day. And I know I sound like one of the cheesy Christian people I'm often complaining about, but it felt like God was smiling on me. Because....

I found a random fortune on my kitchen floor that I must have carried in on my boots from the snow, because sadly I haven't eaten Chinese food in over a month.

I had to say goodbye to Hannah who lives in KCMO, but we get hang out again on Friday and dress in costume! And to comfort me while she's away she left me this awesome picture of a turtle flying a kite (it's an inside joke, because we're best friends and best friends have weird inside jokes.)














Then I went to the grocery store and there was a live bluegrass band playing (St. Louis is the greatest city ever!) and I danced through the aisles. I decided to dine at the salad bar for lunch on this fine Sunday and IT was even in a good mood.








So, not a church Sunday, but a damn fine Sunday indeed. Don't worry though. My church days aren't over. I have plenty more churchin' to do. In fact, the next church will come from my hometown of Springfield, MO for I'ma comin' home for a lil' visit (unless there's another freak snow storm. in which case i will most likely stay inside and get day drunk and won't write anything at all).


I wish you a day that is as magical as swinging in the snow with your best friend after a sex show! ♥