My Childhood Friend Became a Pastor and Her Sermon Made Me Think About Things

Is it just me or are congregations getting smaller? Are fewer and fewer people going to church? There are several studies that say there are indeed fewer people going to church - at least fewer going on a regular basis. I have an overwhelming desire to site articles and research studies, but this ain't grad school or Lincoln Douglas debate so let's press on.

The choir didn't know the songs either. We've
got to work on our singing people! 

Sometimes when I visit a church I feel like I'm witnessing the fall of Rome. I see myself 30 years in the future with gorgeous curly gray hair saying, "Oh yes. I was there. People used to wake up on Sunday morning and put on these things called "panty hose" and go to a giant building filled with long benches where they would awkwardly sing oddly worded songs and recite things together and listen to a person talk about this really old book that was supposedly written by God." Most likely hipsters will buy up these old unique looking buildings and turn them into Speakeasies or art galleries or thrift stores or we will all have vintage stained-glass in our homes or whatever will be cool in 30 years.

Are churches dying? The congregations certainly are.

Me and my dear Grandmommy. She hates pictures. This is
as close to a smile as she would agree to.

Oh, don't get mad. I love old people. In fact, before church I went to visit with my nearly 102 year old great grandmother. She's amazing and ornery and I adore her. But she doesn't go to church. She's done lived out her church goin' days and now she sits in a chair and reads or watches the birds or sleeps. Nursing homes are filling up with former church goers, but no one is coming to take their seats in the pews. What is the fate of the church? Are churches dying because they are no longer relevant? Do we care?

Why am I going to church?

When I go to church I want to be awoken in some way. I want to have a new thought or a new insight or a new feeling or a new question. A good sermon can accomplish these things and my dear friend Becky Schwandt knows how to give a good sermon. She had me thinking about all kinds of things.

Becky is the pastor at Southminster Presbyterian Church in Springfield, MO.  I've known Becky since she was 13 - before either of us had gotten our periods or kissed a boy. Yeah, me and this girl go way back. We used to stay up late reading Bible verses to each other. We were locker partners during middle school and high school. We were roommates all throughout college - back when me and Rev Becky used to take breaks from paper writing by having "costume smokes" where we put on weird outfits and smoked cigarettes on the front porch of our dorm. We traveled Europe together surviving off nicotine, beer and friendship. Yeah, Becky's not some high brow self righteous pious preacher. Nope. She's a down to earth regular gal who happens to be really smart and has a close relationship with God. I think that's why her sermon was so accessible.

I don't have much to say about the actual service. The church is this huge triangle building with giant ceilings that make you feel very small and very disconnected from others around you. The singing was your standard awkward out of tune mumbling. They pray and make announcements and take offering and do other church stuff. At one point Becky poured water into a bowl and said some words I didn't listen to. I have no idea what was going on there. They did a children's message which is always fun, because children's faces often reflect the confusion we are all feeling. There was a lot of that repeating things together crap. The usual. Standard church fare bores me.

BUT...

Becky's sermon I really enjoyed. It was clear, concise, accessible, memorable and insightful. I would expect nothing less from a Drury graduate. Her topic was "The Longview" and trusting God's plan for us. She talked about Abraham and how he had hard a time being patient and waiting for God to fulfill his promise to give him a child. Her message: Be patient. Be obedient. Trust God. Good things will come.

Oh Rev. Becky. I understand what you are saying, but I struggle with this one.

What about Carpe Diem? What about live in the moment? We've all seen RENT - No Day But Today - right? I am a live in the moment kind of girl. Screw the consequences. Damn the Man! Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Who knows if there will be a tomorrow? Who says God has a plan for me anyway? Who says I want to follow God's plan? I do what I want.

Truthfully though, living in the moment is often a gamble. Sure, sometimes you end up at some crazy party drinking fancy drinks and dancing the night away with some glittertastic drag queens until the wee hours of the morning. But other times you end up walking 2 miles home wearing only a stranger's t-shirt with your contacts glued to your eyeballs and your head pounding. If you are a live in the moment person you must take the good with the bad. It's ain't always pretty.

But at least you know. There's no guessing "what might have been if..." I can't stand not knowing. I can't stand the thought of missing out on an experience. I'm the last one to go to sleep. I close down the bar. I don't want to miss one second. What if I wait for "God's plan" and nothing happens and I've missed out on all that fun/occasional shame and sorrow? What if "God's plan" is as boring as a traditional church service? What if God is just some concept we created to help us make sense of the chaos that is life and therefore there is no plan because there is no God and we are all just flailing around on this planet until we die and are buried in the ground?

I am full of questions. Well played Becky. Well played.

I do believe in God and I believe in Fate and I believe in a Plan. Kinda. I question it often. But then I have these moments where I can feel something greater at work. Then I feel good about my beliefs for a moment and then something else happens and I question everything again. It's a vicious cycle. This sermon came after a week of tragedy and death. Not tragedy that touched me personally, but those close to me and my family. It seemed like every day there was more bad news - someone else killed, someone else sick. How does that factor into the "longview"? How do gas leaks and mass spread cancers and strokes and heart failure factor into the longview?

I don't pray often, but I prayed at Becky's church. Well, I don't know if it was really praying. I said the many names of those I know who are experiencing deep sadness and uncertainty this week over and over. I said your names and I thought about you and I tried to send you my love. Does this do anything? No. Probably not. Sometimes it makes me feel better to know people are thinking nice thoughts about me, especially at times when I struggle to come up with nice thoughts myself.

I feel sad. Monday Sarah feels sad. Sunday Sarah only thought about these things briefly and then put them in a box that said "Don't Open Until Monday" so she could enjoy the Oscar party and all the food and fun without having to worry about it being ruined by sad feelings. I'm a great compartmentalizer. Woo.

Let us not end on a sad note. Life is a crazy journey. At least we don't have to do it alone, right? Thank God for that.

(I will now search the Internet for something to make us feel a little happier.)

Ah! I have something. My cousin posted this the other day when she was feeling a bit yucky. It certainly brightened my day. Listen to these goats yelling like humans and remember life is beautiful, weird, but beautiful.

P.S. Thank you for reading this. You make me feel loved, so I wanted to send a little love back your way. If I know you, if I don't, if we are estranged, if we are acquaintances, if we share the same experiences and beliefs or if we are complete opposites - whoever you are - thank you for sharing this journey with me.