Hello Moon! Experiencing the Zen Center

Only a fool looks at the finger that points to the moon.




 "Shit! Ugh. Facebook is being stupid." says the monk siting on a cushion, draped in a red robe  and fumbling with his iPad while trying to read the group a passage for our discussion time. It was quite amusing. Though, it doesn't shock me that a Buddhist monk would have a Facebook account, struggle with road rage, use curse words and talk about having great sex. I realised long ago that religious leaders are actually just human beings, but I enjoyed the reminder.

This is the Bo Kwang Zen Center. Ta-da!

The Bo Kwang Zen Center is a Zen Buddhist temple that's part of the Taego Order of Korean Zen - and no, I have no idea what that means. It's also a house.  Just a regular ol' house in a little neighborhood across the park from my apartment. The space is small and can't accommodate many, which worked out well, because there were only 5 people in attendance including me and the leader.

Usually I do some research on the "church" I'm visiting and their core beliefs, basic information, etc, but this week I spent all my time just trying to find a Buddhist temple that 1 - had a service on Sunday and 2 - didn't start at 6:00 am. So, I ended up at Bo Kwang without any knowledge of what the hell I would be doing there.

I did know I was supposed to bring socks. So naturally I forgot them. Classic Sarah. I was also supposed to dress in simple colors "as not to distract". This was a challenge. I only wore 2 colors - fuchsia and black. I felt so plain. I entered the building, took of my shoes, exposed my bare feet, and stood there awkwardly while 3 men talked about stuff. I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. I was frozen in awkwardness. This is awkward. There's only 3 other people here. It's so small. God, there's nothing to look at on the wall so I can't even pretend I'm busy. I don't know what to do with my hands! I guess I'll just stand here looking like a weirdo staring off into space and say nothing. Yup. That's what I'm doing. A few minutes later I was invited to sit on my mat and cushion and they realized it was my first time and I was a stranger and were very warm and welcoming. Introductions were made and the service was explained briefly.

I stole this from the website. My experience looked the same.
Same monk. Different day.

With incense burning Hae Won Sunim, the monk leading the service, struck a wooden fish with a stick to keep rhythm and began the melodic Korean chanting. We kneeled. We bowed. We stayed bowed. We stood up. We stayed stood up. And then we did it all over again several times while 2 of the 5 people in the room recited the traditional Korean chant. It all felt kind of silly. But it was new and different and exciting and it wasn't another boring sermon about Jesus - so I loved it.

After the chanting we had a 25 minute silent meditation. I tried to clear my mind and focus on nothing. My brain has been absolute mush lately. Seriously, it's like jell-o. I can't form coherent thoughts. My feelings are out of control. I feel weird. Weirder than usual. So, I tried to take a break from it all. I once took philosophy class where the instructor had us count from 1 to 10 and any time you had a thought you had to start over again. It's impossible. Thinking about nothing is impossible! My brain kept churning out weird unnecessary thoughts and I couldn't make it stop. Suddenly, Hae Won Sunim made a very alarming sound with the sticks (I jumped) and mediation was over. I was relieved. Is there a pill that turns off your brain? Cause I want it. Now.

Time for tea! Hooray!

Yes. Tea and talk time! When I'm not drinking booze, I'm drinking tea. I love tea. I'm drinking green tea right now. And talking is one of my all time favorite things to do. It's my chance to drain some of the thoughts swimming in my head. Oh, I love to talk - especially about religion. These people were incredibly intelligent and insightful. So much so that I worried I wasn't smart enough to share my feelings - but of course I did anyway. Sharing feelings is my favorite!

Thoughts/Ideas/Things That Were Presented During "Tea and Talk" That I Found Particularly Interesting (yeah, i love lists, less than tea and talking, but still it's up there.)

* The man sitting next to me offered an idea I enjoyed. He commented on how trees mimic lungs in their appearance and actions. When I got home I sat outside my apartment and stared at the trees noticing how their branches indeed looked like the branches in the lungs. Both givers of air. Mind = blown.

* Dependent Origination. Do you know about this? I didn't. Look it up. Basically, it's about how everything is connected - nothing is separate - nature, us, the universe, all of it. And because we are all connected we all effect (with an "e" or an "a"? i never know!) each other. There's a lot more to this. I had never heard of this specific term, though I've always believed we were all connected.

* Hae Won Sunim talked about God and the beginning of creation. If in the beginning there was only God then what did God use to create all the things? If there was nothing but God, then everything was created of God. Everything is God. Everything is connected because everything is ONE thing - God.

*You are the only one who understands your mind. No one can alter what goes on in there, except you. (No kidding. Does this discount my whole profession? Let's hope not. Actually, I don't really care if it does.)

* We talked about direct experience. Hae Won Sunim read a passage about Buddha talking with another dude from the book Old Path White Clouds by Thich Nhat Hanh (read off his iPad). There were two parts I connected with:

 My goal is not to explain the universe, but to help guide others to have a direct experience of       reality. Words cannot describe reality. Only direct experience enables us to see the true face of reality.          
  
 I must state clearly that my teaching is method to experience reality and not reality itself, just as a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon itself. An intelligent person makes use of the finger to see the moon.


Direct experience. That's the only way to understand the world. You can spend all your time reading books and attending church services with intelligent spiritual people - but until you go out and live and see for yourself you will never understand. I get this. I've always been the kind of girl who had to experience it for herself. You could have screamed at me until you were blue in the face that I shouldn't have gone to that warehouse with that stranger (read my first blog post)- that it was dangerous and stupid and I wasn't thinking clearly - and you would have been right, but I wouldn't have listened. I had to find out for myself. I had to experience it myself. And I can't bring myself to regret it, because it brought me here. Here - where I am seeing things differently and expanding my mind and meeting interesting people and having new and strange experiences. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be. (I know this is not what Buddha meant exactly, but I still think it's applicable. Or maybe I just want it to be. Either way.)

Many of you have sent me messages and said you feel as I do - you are searching for something, you question the religion of your upbringing, you are intrigued by the concept of "God" and religion, you are trying to figure out who you are and how you fit in to the world...
There's only so much you can get from reading my blog - most likely, just a slight chuckle and the understanding that I am fucking crazy. You're going to have to go out and experience "it" for yourself. Whatever "it" is to you. I can't really help you with any of "it". I can just tell you about my experiences and you can tell me about yours and we can help point each other in the general direction of the moon.

Until next time my friends...