I Spent Easter at IHOP

When I was a freshmen in college each Friday night I would carefully pick out an elaborate and ill fitting costume (Disco sailor bell bottomed halter top pantsuit, white full length gloves and a blue wig. Every weekend something new. I went all out), adorn myself in glitter and eye jewels and head out alone to the town's local gay discotheque, Martha's Vineyard. Being too young to drink at the time I would stand around and smoke cigarettes and search out interesting people. It didn't take long before a group of young and fabulous gay boys took me under their fairy wings. Each Friday (and then sometimes again on Saturday) we would dance in a cloud of cologne and cigarette smoke until the wee hours of the morning and then take our sweaty selves over to IHOP for some delicious late-night replenishment. Often people question why I, a woman who does not identify as gay, would choose to spend her time in mostly gay company. Well, when I was all alone and felt very weird the gays took me by the hand, twirled me around the dance floor, told me I was gorgeous and fed me pancakes. 'Nuff said. Got nothing but love, respect and gratitude for my gay brothers and sisters. Marriage equality for all!!!

So, that was kind of a sidebar story that really barely connects with my Sunday church experience other than the fact that I indeed went to IHOP.  Only, tragically, this IHOP didn't serve pancakes. See, I went to a slightly different international house on Sunday - the International House of Prayer.

 

Yup. This church was in a Christian shopping mall next to Higher Grounds coffee shop and Glad Heart Realty (both owned by IHOP).  

 

Once again I found myself in Kansas City. It was my soul sister Hannah's 30th birthday and we enjoyed a weekend of day hiking, fireside giggling, face painting, mayonnaise based salads, glow stick dance parties and French 75s. It was magical. For Easter Sunday I wanted to attend a Christian service, but not a denomination of Christianity I had already visited. I also wanted some place not too far from where I was staying. But most of all I wanted to attend a service with lots and lots of music. Music has really been lacking in the services I've attended so far. I need more music!

 

Be careful what you ask for.

 

I hit up my Facebook friends for good church suggestions and then completely ignored them when I stumbled upon the website for an unusual church called the International House of Prayer which featured a prayer room that was open 24/7. I'm a sucker for something different. Sometimes when it's quiet at work I google "weirdest religions/churches in the United States" and am always amazed by the various religious gatherings that exist across our fine country. I'd never heard of IHOP before, so my interest was peaked. I asked my KC ladies what they knew about it - "it's got a reputation for being cult like", "a girl was raped there" "it's ginormous" "they own half that area of town".

 

I pay very little attention to what other people think and chose to make up my own mind about things. People say homosexuality is a sin - I disagree. People say smoking marijuana is wrong - I disagree. People say you shouldn't wear navy and black together or red and pink - I disagree. People say you shouldn't drink wine for breakfast - I disagree. I follow my heart and do what I think is right for me regardless of what others say. And my heart was rather excited see what this IHOP place was all about.

 

So, without doing any further research on IHOP, on Sunday morning I threw on my favorite red polka dotted sundress and mustard yellow cardigan and headed out on my church adventure. I had no idea what to expect, but I should have, because I got exactly what I asked for. Sometimes I can almost hear God/the universe cracking up at my expense - "(hehehe) Sarah. (hehe) You precious idiot. (hehehe)."

 

The service was nothing but a band singing the Bible. There is no sermon. No announcements. No meet and greet your neighbor. Nope, the whole service was music - expect for when this 20 something girl in leopard flats would close her eyes tight and whisper key lines into a microphone - "(whispered serious voice) You are holy." - over the bands boisterous singing. And when I say they were "singing the Bible" I mean it literally. They didn't have song sheets. They opened their Bibles to a particular passage, created a basic melody and then had a Bible jam session. They told Bible stories in song! I listened to the Easter story in song. Sometimes, they would nod at each other and one of the singers would create a 3 or 4 line repeatable chorus that would then be typed up on the TV screens and sung over and over with growing gusto and added harmony

 

Example:

This is not a picture of a helpless man

You could have stopped it any time you wanted

You endured the pain because you love me

Thank you, Jesus. You are holy.

(it frequently didn't rhyme or really make sense, but then again, it was made up on the spot)

Whispering microphone girl not pictured.

 This goes on all day, every day. Well, except Friday and Saturdays from 6-10 pm. Otherwise the Global Prayer Room at The International House of Prayer is open all the time and the music never stops. Musicians perform in 2 hour shifts and while the bands change out a small group of musicians plays until the new band is ready to go. It's free and (obviously) open to the public. I went around 8:30 and stayed till about 10:00. The audience was small - only about 50 people in a room made for 600. Most of the people were bowing in prayer, or kneeling in prayer, or walking with their hands in the air in prayer, or working on their computer in prayer, or lying on the floor crying in prayer, or relaxed on a chair sleeping in prayer. I didn't really know what to do. So, I sat in my chair and watched the band and didn't pray at all. I just didn't feel like it. I just kind of zoned out and sometimes I giggled.

This girl was praying with her hands in the air. Classic.

 

I doubt it would surprise you to find out that IHOP is an evangelical charismatic Christian missions organization. I doubt it would surprise you that on their "Information" wall I found a sheet titled "Jesus' Battle Plan for the End of the World". I doubt it would surprise you that there is a large following of 20 somethings at this church - about 1,000. I doubt it would surprise you that there is A LOT of controversy surrounding this church. It might surprise you that their "Prayer Room Guidelines" tell you exactly how to properly "lay hands" on someone - apparently rubbing is inappropriate. You learn something new every day.

 

You know, I was really kind of hoping for a "moving" Easter experience. It's not a holiday I've ever felt any connection to. I just don't buy the whole Jesus died on the cross and all of the sins of every person ever were magical transferred onto his body and now when we die we are able to live in a magical cloud land where the streets are flowing with milk and honey. The Bible is so full of symbolism, maybe Jesus' story was meant to be symbolic too, because literally it just doesn't seem feasible. I kind of want someone to try and explain it to me in a way that makes logical sense, but I'm pretty sure that's impossible.

 

This Sunday wasn't the experience I wanted, but it was the experience I went looking for. That happens sometimes - you want one thing, but you are obviously seeking out another. Life is hard. I mess up a lot. But then again, I'm glad I ended up at IHOP. I didn't get any special signs from God or have any major epiphanies and that was kind of nice. It was just a service. It was weird. It didn't really speak to me, but there are worse ways to spend an hour and a half.

 

After service, I attended an Easter Brunch at my friend Camille's house. Guess what she served? Pancakes. Perfect! Then I drove 4 hours home and was totally exhausted. I looked like a zombie. Many non-Christian's refer to Easter as Zombie Day (Jesus rises from the dead - get it?) So, in honor of my secular friends here is a super flattering picture of Zombie Sarah risen from 5 hours of sleep and grumpy after a long weekend of fun.