The pastor's final prayer seemed to take forever.
My head was bowed. My hands were folded. My body still.
But my young mind wasn't with God. Oh no.
My eyes moved toward the back of the sanctuary plotting my course.
I had to be the first kid to the donut table. At any cost.
As soon as the organ began it's usual reverent tune I was off.
In those days my devout family sat at the front of the sanctuary - making my journey an arduous one. This is where my love of procuring an aisle seat began. You had to be quick to get past the old ladies who also shared the first few pews. They were talkers and lingerers. Standing like giant perfumed statues in the aisles talking about various things that didn't matter to a little girl with donuts on the brain. If you got stuck behind the ladies you were doomed. It was nothing but water and plain donut holes for you.
But that was just the first obstacle. You had Sunday School teachers who wanted to ask you questions, mothers trying to corral their small children and various grown-ups who needed to compliment you on your outfit or manners. I sprinted to the back of the sanctuary dodging congregation members like a quarterback. Until finally I arrived at my destination, the table of sheer delight, the holy grail, the reason you forced yourself to behave during worship service- the refreshment table.
It wasn't much. There was "lemonade drink" and coffee and water. If you were lucky there were four kinds of donuts waiting for you - chocolate, powdered, cinnamon and sugar and plain. But after the saltines and water you got as your Sunday School "snack" they were a real treat. The powdered sugar ones we my favorite. I loved the way they clung to the roof of your mouth with their sugary goodness and sprinkled your lips and clothes in gentle dustings of white that demonstrated to everyone you were victorious. Your stealth like moves landed you in the winners circle where the powdered donut was the trophy of champions.
To an eight year old in an itchy petticoat exhausted from hearing hours of Bible lessons the refreshment table was heaven. It was magic. Perfection. Those snacks may as well have been prepared by Martha Stewart herself, because, to me, there was nothing better.
Flash forward twenty-two years later. I still get ridiculously excited about snacks. As I am writing this blog post I am texting my best friend discussing what snacks we are going to enjoy this evening pre and post workout. I love snacks! I love every kind of snack! So, on Sunday morning I made my Dad leave the house 45 minutes early because the church we were going to visit had the greatest refreshment table of all time and they served their snacks BEFORE the service began.
Yes, this church had it's very own.... STARBUCKS!!!!
This wasn't no donut hole and lemonade drink church. We were in the big leagues now.
I know what you're thinking...Starbucks. Woo. Big deal. There is one on every corner in pretty much every city across the country. But the little eight year old donut sprinter in me was exploding with excitement. THIS was truly the Holy Grail of refreshment tables and I would be damned if I didn't get a chai tea latte. Like a child I screamed out to my father through the house, "Come on Dad! We gotta go! Let's move it!"
As we approached the massive building off Highway 65 in Ozark, MO I realized I was way out of my league. There were more than just a few old ladies and screaming children to dodge. There were three thousand people eager to enjoy a coffee beverage of their choosing before the Jesus Show started. THREE THOUSAND PEOPLE!!!!
James River Assembly of God is truly a MEGA CHURCH.
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| This was taken from the highway and I STILL couldn't get all of it in the shot. |
Men in bright yellow vests directed the swarms of cars trying to find parking in the expansive lots next to the massive building (Am I using enough adjectives to describe the enormousness of the place?) Luckily, we found a spot in the "1st Time Guest" section marked with welcome signs and balloons.
Walking through the front door was like stepping into the lobby of a big city attraction. Door greeters welcomed us. A huge information table with four monstrous televisions screens providing information on upcoming events awaited us in the lobby. The lobby was the size of my entire childhood church. People were everywhere. The place was vibrating. Ten people waited behind computer screens to receive your child into their "Kid's Place" where they had giant slides and ball pits for your child's enjoyment. Then behind the information booth there it was - Starbucks. Fifty people were waiting patiently in line for their coffee and snacks. With only 5 minutes till curtain I didn't have time to snag a beverage. I was heart broken. But it was more important that we got good seats for the show. Walking away from the counter I said a quiet apology to the eight year old inside and sulked off down the hallway.
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| Starbucks.... |
IT'S TIME TO PRAISE THE LORD WITH SONG. Contemporary Christian worship songs.
Everyone is up on their feet, clapping their hands or raising their arms to the sky. Blue and red lights circle the stage. The giant screens now highlight various praise band members while scrolling song lyrics along the bottom. It felt like a rock concert...kinda. Everyone is singing, except me and my father. We are just taking it all in -looking around and watching people jump up and down for the Lord. I spent a lot of time surveying the sheer volume of people in this one place. After each song people would scream and applaud and shout their "amens", but my father remained silent and still. I've seen dozens of Broadway shows with this man and he does not clap out of kindness, like I do. He only applauds when he truly appreciates something and he didn't care for the production that was James River's 10:45 Sunday Morning Worship Service. His stillness told me all I needed to know.
After the music was over my father leaned over and said, "You could probably go get a coffee now." Oh my god. You're right. My dream isn't crushed. They are just doing announcements and boring things right now and I have you to save my seat for me. You glorious man you who knows how deeply I long for a chai tea latte. YES!!! YES!!! I shall reign over the refreshment table once again! "Okay" is all I said as I excused myself from my chair and headed gleefully down the hallway to the now very short Starbucks line.
Out in the lobby I found giant screens broadcasting the service for latecomers and coffee addicts. As I waited in line they did an pretty spectacular advertisement for their "Life Groups" that featured various people around town busting out in uncontrollable dance moves. Our local TV celebrities from KY3 were even featured on the ad. James River has some impressive marketing and advertising.
With my delicious chai tea latte now in hand I headed back to my seat. The sermon was just starting. A man with a unique Australian accent gave a sermon about "glorious ruins". At least, that's what I think it was about. He kept repeating "glorious ruins" roughly fifty times. He said other stuff too, but it was your standard globidyglook. He read lots of Bible versus and emphasized certain words and repeated things and walked around the stage. There was something about gratitude and "the best is yet to come". I got more from my chai tea and quality time with my Dad than I did anything else.
After the sermon I was ready to go. James River is kind of a legendary church in my hometown and I wanted to experience it for myself. So, I did. I went around taking pictures like a tourist - gawking at all the novelties. But, truthfully, I didn't get much from the experience. I didn't feel spiritually uplifted. I didn't feel closer to God. I didn't get any messages or insights or new exciting ideas....except one...
As the praise band was singing and the lyrics to their song were streaming across the MEGA screens, I couldn't help but wonder who writes these simple repetitive tunes that often rhyme and frequently don't make much sense. It seemed there was a basic formula:
Simple lyrics from Christian word pool + basic melody + catchy repeatable chorus + key change = Contemporary Worship Gold.
Could anyone write contemporary Christian Worship Tunes (CWT)? Could I?
I decided to find out.
On my drive back to St. Louis I started brainstorming various words that often appear in CWTs.
CWT Word Pool:
majesty Jesus rock reign love power glorious always fountain Lord King forever worship
praise kingdom heaven river holy friend redeem light joy God Savior drink spring devil
Driving in the car with my brother music flowed from me like a glorious fountain.
Much to my brother's dismay I sang silly Christian songs at the top of my lungs while driving down the highway giggling to myself about how Jesus saves but he never shaves.
Then I got the idea for a slightly less contemporary song about loving Jesus all day long. It was kinda twangy, but I couldn't let it go. Writing Jesus songs is ridiculously fun!
Twenty minutes later THIS is what I came up with (lyrics below video):
**The sound quality isn't great, but I think you can get the idea...the idea that I am completely insane**
I'm Lovin' Him All Day Long
Jesus (He's my Savior)
Jesus (He's my King)
He's my everything
and I love Him all day long (all day long)
Jesus (He's my Savior)
Jesus (He's my King)
He's my everything
He's my lovin' Jesus
and I love him all day long.
When I eat my lunch (i'm lovin' him)
When I go to brunch (i'm lovin' him)
When I have a hunch
I'm lovin him all day long
When I'm in the dark (i'm lovin' him)
When I'm at the park (i'm lovin' him)
When I hear those angels hark
I'm lovin' him all day long
(chorus)
When I go to school (i'm lovin' him)
Hangin' in the pool (i'm lovin' him)
My Jesus he's pretty cool
I love him all day long
When I'm on the mend (i'm lovin' him)
Hangin' with my friends (i'm lovin' him)
Beginning to end
I'm lovin' him all day long
(chours)
Alright then...there ya go. James River inspired me to write praise songs and actually I've come up with a few more. I encourage you to give it a try. It's ridiculously fun and easy to do. Go for it! Then send me your videos. I'd love to see what you come up with! We'll have a sing-a-long. I'll make margaritas! Until next time...
Praise Ye The Lord!
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